Desperate

Yesterday Lincoln and I were driving and we were both in the mood for some rap music. There is very little good rap music out there in my opinion. One guy I really enjoy is Lecrae. His lyrics are rich and real and it sounds awesome. As we were driving the song Desperate really hit home for both of us and I wanted to share the lyrics with you. Maybe you have felt like he is describing in this song, I know I have.

[Verse 1]
Woke up this morning too depressed and shamed to leave my bed
Cant stand to see my own reflection so I hang my head
feel like a disappointment like the scum of the earth
I'm so hurt I know you see I cant cover my dirt
my souls dying hearts weak and I cant even cry
I'm sposed to run to you but WHY I'm such an evil guy
The sun's shining but for me it's the darkest of days
Try to pretend it never happened but the guilt remains
I leave the house it feels like everybody knows I did it
Feel like they reading my mind and know the sin I committed
Through your blood I'm aquitted but my heart doesnt get it
Oh God I'm desperate for Help cause I'm grieving your Spirit
I couldn't sing in the sunday service, Lord I felt fake
and when they started communion I just made an escape
I'm in need of your grace/ feels like you hid your face
Lord Lead me back to cross and show me my sins erased

I'm so desperate, I can't believe I've sinned against you
Create in me a clean heart (I'm so sorry)
Your mercy is what I need

[Verse 2]
I'm waste deep in my pity Is Satan tryna trick me
and tell me you wont forgive me cause it's startin to get me
Jesus help me quickly I hate the wrong I've done
I know we all fall but I feel like the only one
Feels like I should be shunned should I punish myself
I know it's dumb cause by your death all my sin has been dealt
But my sin is been felt I didn't want to do it
but what I want to do I don't I swear I'm goin through it
I'm tryna open up my bible need to read your pages
need you Lord but my guilt has got me feeling so faithless
Help me see where grace is take me back to the basics
help me find my joy in you and not people and places
my sin is ever before me I turned my back on you
Oh father break and restore me to bring me back to you
my sin is ever before me I turned my back on you
God break and restore me to bring me back to you

[Verse 3]
have mercy on me God according to your steady love
wipe away my transgressions and wash me in your blood
Create in me a clean heart renew a right spirit
Don't hide your face from me God your Presence keep me near it
I'm waiting patience on you Lord I know you hear my cry
Restore your Joy in me for you alone I live and die
It's you I Glorify cause you don't want my sacrifice
you want me broken and contrite trusting in the Christ
I confess to you my sin and you show me mercy
I turn away from it demonstrating that you are worthy
over lust, over pride, over all sin
is my affection for Jesus who died for all them
I was lost now I'm found I was toss to the ground
My sin weighed on me heavy but I am no longer bound
As sure as Christ wear the crown I know that grace will abound
And even when I feel lost I know in You I am found

Under the Wings of God

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

- Psalm 91:4

Have you ever pictured yourself under the wings of God? Have you come to take refuge under them? I love the picture of God covering us with his feathers and us taking refuge under his wings. It lets us know that God is ultimately in control. That we have security in Christ, that we can trust in him. The word refuge means a shelter or protection from danger or distress. In the hard times or in our struggles often times we run away from the wings of God. This could be for a number of reasons but many times we just don't trust God. We don't believe that he will protect us from danger or distress. It is in these times we need to run under the wings of God. We need to ask him to help us believe and trust in him and to know he is in control. John Piper in his book "Sweet & Bitter Providence" writes,

"When you believe in the sovereignty of God and that he loves to work mightily for those who trust him, it gives a freedom and courage that isn't abandoned in hard times."

Today I challenge you to picture yourself under the wings of an Almighty, Loving, Powerful God. A God who forgives sin and remembers them no more (Jeremiah 31:34). My prayer is that you will find refuge under the wings of God!

The Patience of Faith

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers is one of my favorite devotionals. If you don't have a copy of it you need to grab one. I want to share with you part of the devotional from May 8th.

"Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life; you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.

God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence in Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is life eternal, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."

Are you established on eternal truth?

Do you walk with reckless confidence on God?

This may seem like it describes a radical Christian. You may think I know only a few people with that type of radical trust and faith. The question is do you want that type of radical faith and trust in God? Are you willing to ask God for it because he wants to give it to you. It may be radical but it is also Biblical. Today ask God for a robust, vigorous confidence in Him!

Reflections from Prayer & Fasting

Once a month the ministry has a prayer and fasting day. It is usually a Monday and we spend all morning and afternoon praying. We usually break the fast around 3:30 or 4:00pm. This past Monday we had an awesome time of seeking the Lord, praying for friends, community, the town of New Philadelphia, and just surrendering our lives and ministry to God. Here are some thoughts and verses that spoke to me this past Monday...

"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." - Psalm 107:9

"From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praised." - Psalm 113:3

"The LORD is God, and he has made his light to shine upon us..." - Psalm 118:27a

"...Your restoration is what we pray for." - 2nd Corinthians 13:9b

Restoration implies a bringing back to a position or relationship. The important thing to remember is that when we put our faith and trust in Jesus Christ we are redeemed. We are adopted as sons of God and have the Holy Spirit as a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance (Eph. 1:13-14). At times our fellowship with God fades. We focus on ourselves and sin starts to creep in and distance our fellowship from Christ. It is a "Slow Fade" like the Casting Crowns song. As I was praying Monday God just reminded me to pray for restoration. To restore my fellowship with Him. To remove all the stuff I have placed in between us that is keeping me from Him. So today I pray for restoration in your life. I ask that you would draw near to God and you will enjoy the fullness of joy we have in Christ.