I tend to be a driven person so when God really grabbed a hold of my heart I have had this intense desire to be God's boy. I also tend to be a mind person more than a heart person so I often have spiritual battles in my head. Recently Satan has been hammering me with feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and confusion. Today I was getting frustrated with everything going on in my head and just had to get out of the house. I went to the track and decided sprints would help. With my Ipod on I began sprinting as fast as I could around the track. As I was running (and eventually walking) I was praying and just asking God to take this feelings and thoughts. I wanted to submit them to Him. After a few laps I just felt God say in a calm whisper, "just smile."
All those thoughts in my head disappeared and I had this big smile on my face as I kept running. I kept running for about 15 more minutes and the whole time I was smiling. As I continued on I was convicted about my lack of trust in God. All the thoughts and feelings in my head were flowing out of situations that I wanted to control. Since I didn't have the answers I wanted, Satan was using that to make a mess in my head. God had to bring me back to the simplicity of faith. I had to ask myself, "Do I trust God?" My answer out of my mouth was "yes" but the answer "yes" that I need is from my life. Am I living a life fearlessly? Is my trust in God evident in my decisions, choices and lifestyle? In those things I can't control can do I believe God is working it out for my good?
We are creatures of control. We want to control our circumstances, our future, and ourselves. If you are like me you want everything to be planned out. The enemy wants us to forget that God is in control and wants us to think that we are. The reason we need to "just smile" is understanding and knowing that we are not in control. Think about it. Doesn't that relieve a lot of pressure? YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL! Is that scary for you think about? Logically think about it. If you could pick anyone in the world to be in control of your life who would it be? Would you pick yourself or God who created you? The problem is God has created us to be submissive to His control yet we fight Him for it everyday. You ARE in God's hands, not your own hands. Isn't that a refreshing and comforting thought? How can that not make you smile?
Today I had to seek God and ask for forgiveness. I needed to turn and repent from a Travis centered life to a God centered life. Today let God be God and just smile knowing that God is in control, that He loves you unconditionally, and you are His!
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28
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